Porous Brains part deux
Anyway back to the story, so she carries herself back to work after 4 weeks, can you imagine the girl wasn’t even completely healed but you know since her hubby wanted to play author and she was stupidly trying to be the supportive wife, she had to go back to work. So of course she was desperate for childcare. She went through a nanny referral service. When she saw this Rihanna girl’s resume it was amazing. It was as if the girl was Mary Poppins re-incarnate and her references were excellent. So she ignored the fact that the girl looked like she just stepped out of a music video. Actually the day I saw her she was wearing shorts and a tank top. As soon as I saw her I told Katya to fire her, because no matter how attractive you are, you should never put a competitor in your house, but of course Katya didn’t listen. She told me I was being a paranoid Nigerian. So I left her alone; she, her passionate husband and her shorts wearing nanny.
Naturally when she called me today after several months, somehow I was not surprised to see she was in tears. Apparently her husband had been having writer’s block and somehow Rihanna decided to inspire him by opening her legs. Did I not warn Katya? I knew it. Hot pants my foot! Anyway bottom line is that Rihanna has just informed them that she is pregnant for Katya’s husband and fully intends to keep the baby. So now Katya is basically screwed and because her idiot husband wasn’t working, if they divorce, she might end up paying him palimony, imagine that! Her baby has just started crawling and this happens. I was too disgusted, and even more so when I talked to Katya and she said her life is in God’s hands. I am telling you I am sick and tired of people being too weak to face life and hiding behind God. It’s not like I don’t believe in God, it’s just that I don’t see what place He has in my life. I don’t need him. I have everything under control; I am not stupid like Katya. So when she started spouting this church jargon, talking about “No weapon formed against me” and all that, I told her to get real and I referred her to Titi to help her find a new place and called a few friends of mine for a referral to a good divorce lawyer.
Honestly, women and their porous brains, how can you take trouble and put it in your house? That is why in my house, there will never be any drama, because I know how to handle my life and I make sure it is handled.
Katya kept crying to me about how she loved him and she couldn’t believe he could do this to her and all that. I was so irritated. There was a point when I wanted to slap her. I mean why she was wasting her tears on that idiot, I’ll never know. Imagine sleeping with the help, how cliché! Months ago I warned her that she was being too soft on her husband. That catering to his every need would only make him take her for granted. Men are like wild animals. To get them to behave acceptably in public you have to use a little cruelty otherwise they don’t respect you. Take for instance Obinna, he cannot try me, because I have him so trained that he is ready to jump through any hoop, just for a small tidbit of affection. I know what you all are saying, but that’s okay, I’ve been called a hard bitch before and quite frankly, it doesn’t bother me. I learnt early on that the only purpose love serves is to make you feel bad so as for me, I don’t bother with emotions. I have always had a plan and I am willing to do whatever it takes to execute it. So say what you will, but you won’t catch me with a hot pants wearing nanny. She better be old and grey with one lazy eye and even then I’ll have my eye on the heifer!