The Mrs Club
Monday, July 16, 2007 Love can be so cold part 2


So as you can see, I work hard to maintain and make gains. I am no trophy wife; I am just a smart woman. My life is simply what I made it, perfect! Well, almost perfect, the only thing that is missing is a child.

That’s my only challenge and I am so frustrated. We tried for 2 years straight but nothing. We even went to a fertility specialist, which was difficult to begin with. Obinna may be a modern man, but getting any African man to even contemplate the fact that he may not be shooting right at the target is complicated to say the least. He kept saying he was fine and if I needed to go I should but he wasn’t going to be a part of it. Imagine the nonsense, a surgeon, a man who is medically educated, refusing to get himself checked out. What if it was his fault? Maybe his little swimmers were a tad lazy, so I badgered him until he agreed. Turns out, nothing is wrong with either of us, but it’s just not happening. When I suggested IVF, Obinna flat out refused. It was the strangest thing. He felt the process was unnatural, which is so bizarre because I mean what’s so natural about cutting into people’s chests to sew pieces of their heart together?

Also there has been a new, strange development. It is as if he has lost interest in sex. Until last night, we had not been intimate in over 6 months. Initially when we first got together, Obi was always all over me, practically salivating when I walked into the room. I used to feign headaches and the like to put him off; I simply had no intention of sweating out my relaxer every couple of weeks. So initially he was thrilled when we started trying for a baby. He thought it would be sex all the time, any time. When I explained that I thought it was best if we concentrated on when I was definitely ovulating, he was a bit crestfallen. But these days he barely notices me, just a perfunctory goodnight kiss on the forehead and then he is snoring. At first it was great because I really didn’t need the stress of trying to dodge his advances but now I am a bit concerned.

I know he is tired but my goodness, nothing is happening. Truth is I wouldn’t ordinarily mind. The sex was never mind-blowing, just same old, same old, steady and boring just like Obinna. But now, if I didn’t know better I’d say he wasn’t attracted to me anymore but that simply cannot be possible. Any man would be delighted to have me. Like I said I keep myself together; you should see my body naked, even my breasts are still perfectly rounded and perky. That’s because I really watch what I eat, none of that heavy pounded yam and soup everyday. Obinna loves his local food, but it can wreak havoc on your body, and since I am not cooking two meals every night, he has gotten used to grilled chicken with vegetables.

I daresay my face hasn’t aged either, thanks to the assortment of potions and creams I use daily. Ever since I read that Kimora Lee Simmons uses La Mer cream all over her body, I adopted that practice as well, and it works too because at 32, I don’t have a single wrinkle or stretch mark.

That’s why Obinna’s inattentiveness really baffles me. If it were another man I’d be worried that he’s getting his somewhere else, but the man is so dry, I just can’t see him doing that. Anyway I am going to have to talk to him about it. If his libido is waning, maybe we can try some Viagra or something, or if nothing else, maybe he’ll be willing to go the IVF route.

Something has got to give, after all in a few months, his mum is going to be visiting and I just cannot take anymore of that woman’s insults. She never liked me from the jump and she did everything to derail our relationship. Fortunately Obinna was too mesmerized by me to care about his mum’s opinions. She felt I was just here to eat his money, which is not true. It’s true I am not in love with Obinna but I do care about him and plus I helped him get to where he is now. When I was dating him and he couldn’t afford to take me anywhere decent, wasn’t I managing then?

Honestly she is your typical mother-in-law from hell. She criticizes my cooking, my way of dressing, even my manner of speech; she calls me ‘oyibo.’ She keeps saying that she is tired of tilling barren land, that if the land won’t produce, then it’s better that her son go and buy new land. Meanwhile Obinna just stands there and says nothing. When we first got married, he used to stand up for me but these days he just shrugs his shoulders and tells me to endure it, after all I am not the first wife with a mother-in-law problem. Well, I am not leaving this marriage for some other woman to come and enjoy. All the work I did and some small girl will come and eat the fruits of my labor ? I don’t think so!

Posted by Naija Babe :: 10:34 PM :: 8 comments

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