The Mrs Club

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 A note from a wife ( A response to the other woman)

I have received many responses to the other woman post...This was an interesting response. I resisted adding my own two cents to this rejoinder...I think it makes many assumptions but as the author says there are many sides...Please read and weigh in, especially men, what makes y'all tick, other that testosterone, :)...it is an interesting take.

FROM THE WIFE

I read a piece by Ekene Onu titled 'Are You the Other Woman. As the title suggests, it was talking about mistresses - the disadvantages of being one, the pitfalls etc...I agreed with a lot of the things she wrote about but I couldn't help feeling there was another side to it all; a side that most of us, especially women, tend to close our eyes to.

What sort of vacuum would a man experience that he would feel the need to fill it with another woman; not just for a short period but for a long time- almost like a parallel marriage? Yes, the argument against that would be but why would the other woman agree to remain 'outside'?

On the other hand, why would the woman 'inside', remain in a loveless marriage and waste 10, 20 years of her life in bitterness and unhappiness, waiting for the man to 'come back to her? When he eventually does, he's old, tired and decrepit and the marriage is just waiting for death to come and take it!

Anyway, I decided to write a rejoinder based on my own experience...there are so many sides to this thing, so many...this is not definitive...it's just another side to the whole story....

MY REJOINDER-

I am the wife...

I am the wife; the one who has his 'committment'.

She is the 'other woman'; the one who has his heart.

I am the wife; the one who has his children.

She is the other woman; the one who has his love.

I am the wife; the one he comes home to.

She is the other woman; the one he loves being with.

I am the wife; the one who fasts and prays for my 'marriage'.

She is the other woman; the one who pulls him to her without prayers.

I am the wife; the one that has pursed lips and a down-turned mouth.

She is the other woman; the one with a spring in her step and a twinkle in her eye.

I am the wife; the one who is fighting to 'keep her man'.

She is the other woman; the one who doesn't need to fight.

I am the wife; the one who knows we are just staying together for the children.

She is the other woman; the one that has the love child/children.

I am the wife; the one that doesn't want to face the reality of the situation.

He is the husband; the one that took courage and left because he wanted to live happily ever after.

I am the wife; the one who after months of tears and bitterness, is thankful that he was brave enough to walk away from the trap we found ourselves in.

I am the wife; the one who has learnt that marriage is hard enough without you entering into it with low expectations.

I was the wife and now I am not.

She was the other woman and now she is the wife

Posted by Naija Babe :: 8:13 PM :: 6 comments